- You check the search volume in your keyword tools when naming your children.
- You start pronouncing “SEO” as “seeyo” like Siri.
- You check to see if your “SEO Is Dead” post still ranks.
- You dress your kids as Google penalties on Halloween.
- You write keyword rich poetry.
- You check your sites’ analytics more than your blood pressure—and you think there may be a correlation.
- You refuse to read books with titles longer than 60 characters.
- You regularly check the availability of the domain name, “SEO.com” just in case they’ve forgotten to renew.
- When you’re asked to exchange rings at your wedding, you hesitate, fearing there could be a penalty.
- You complain to your doctor that your x-ray scans contain too much duplicate content.
- It takes you 30 minutes to give a toast to avoid putting out thin content.
- When your kids misbehave, they get deindexed, not grounded.
- Watching basketball makes you wonder what your sites’ average bounce rate is.
- You created a sitemap for your house.
- Your spouse informs you that you’re hosting dinner, but you are sure that dinner .com, .net, .org, etc. domains are already taken.
